My Writing

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

v fucked up: an interview with omar de col

me: Omar, why are u doing videos of you smoking? who do u think u are a role model for children
omar: tbh i don't even believe in smoking
me: 2pac said he;s not a role model bc "a role is something you play and a model is something you make, and i'm not fake."
as u can see, that rhymes
omar: if children speak english they won't understand french, so that can be interesting if u are able to understand portugese
or something
me: this is going well
i feel like u just said something deep and i didnt get it
what the fuck are u on about omar
omar: wel if u look at the history of the thing
then it's true
me: lol
omar: just look at the facts
me: when i examine the record, it becomes clear
omar: no no
me: lol
omar: the record is for playing music
i am talking about historical documents
u feel me
me: yea...i "feel u," omar
omar: lie
good and evil
is 'and'
u feel me?
me: trying to think of an abusive nonsequitur
omar: ok
so if u flip it
then it becomes a completely different things
for example
yesterday i was walking on the road
to talk to the locals
and u know what they always say?
they talk about jobs dissapearing
and frankly
i can understand their point
me: Do you care about like "literary culture" or would you rather just look at cute girls' facebooks/twitters?
this is a dumb and obvious q i just realized
omar: for me
it can be an interesting debate
for example
is there a culture
what is a cute girl
these are questions that are also debatable
so it can take a v long time
for example
do u believe in culture stephen
me: no
Hey Omar
what's your favorite Blink song
omar: ok that is very interesting to some people
maybe not me
me: this is a great performance so far bravo
whats your favorite blink song
omar: blink 182?
me: yea
omar: oh ok
me: was just thinking: this interview will just make all the girls like u more
nothing else will be accomplished
ur so selfish
omar: the one where they talk about the small things
me: shitty choice
omar: well ok
that is your opinion
me: lol
omar: and i will defend to the death your right to have it
me: who cut your hair
didja self-cut
omar: thank you
me: lol
omar: i wanted to talk about this 
me: lol
omar: u mentioned it in the pre-interview
i went to this barber
who is chinese
and she calls me 'handsome boy'
which is something i like
very interesting sidebar
she is very good
at making me feel comfortable
me: ever listen to handsome boy modeling school
are they...are they somehow the same band...
omar: because she doesn't speak english
me: as...we are scientists...
omar: i'm not sure what you're talking about
me: english makes u nervous?
omar: but i'm glad u are listening to different kinds of music

me: what should a girl do if she has u over
or a boy
omar: to answer your first question
english doesn't make me nervous
to answer your second question
i would need you to go into more detail
me: how have u met girls
didja ever meet a girl at camp
on a bus
in a garage
in a field
in a meadow
ata pub
omar: mostly the girls meet me
i think
me: rest stop
is that so
omar: yes
it depends where i am
in that situation
me: wherever u are, there they meet u
omar: no no
now u are twisting my word
when a girl meets me
or i meet a girl, as u put it
it is by chance
for example
i once knew a girl
because she hung around with my flat mate
and i stayed in my room
while they drank in the common area
to seem mysterious
and also
because i was shy
at some point
i went to sit with them
and we made eye contact
then as she was leaving i asked for her email
and spoke to her on msn
me: you DO seem mysterious
omar: messenger
idk about that
as you can see
i have a twitter, tumblr and used to have facebook
and am available on gchat
can u see those
me: what would it take for u to go back on facebook for good
as it were
omar: well
to be honest
since u asked the question
i am going to answer it
me: exciting
omar: i have secretly been activating fb
mostly to view pix of girls
someone said to me yesterday
after i mentioned that i deactivated fb
that i will be back on it within a week
so i feel if i turn it on again
'for good'
i will seem like a lil bitch
and i care what ppl think
it is one of my flaws
what can i say though, i am human
we all have our flaws
u feel me?
me: i wonder sometimes...if u think abt the feelings of others..
i do wonder that...
omar: well
that is an interesting point
v metaphysical
have u read the philosophy?
me: no i havent read it
have u seen "a dangerous method"
omar: no
me: me neither
omar: i would rather stay on topic
me: it looked good tho
omar: hold on
lets finish what u started
me: can one tho remain on topic
omar: u haven't deactivated fb
am i right in saying that?
me: you have said so
omar: ok
so i will assume that is true
since u wont give me a straight answer
do u consider the feelings of ppl who want u to deactivate fb?
me: lol

me: When are u coming to amerika
omar: awp '13
me: cool
u heard it here first
omar: oh
ha ha
me: u can meet elaine
thank god
omar: are we breaking the 4th wall now
me: it's broke
omar: ok
me: can u take some sexie fotos to accompany this interview
seeing as i cant peruse ur fbook pix
cause ur a selfish prick
omar: do you remember when i made my point about u not deactivating fb?
me: just go in photobooth for a while
what else should i deactivate
omar: i don't have photobooth
i'll take a pic i guess
me: thank you
omar: lol
are we still in the interview
me: yes
omar: ok
is there anything else u would like me to talk about?
me: idk like
probably my initial thots are dispensable now
something abt literature
omar: ok
well lately i have been reading lydia davis
i read the first story
me: whaddya think of her
omar: then i fell asleep in the sun
me: perfect
omar: but i liked the first one
me: u ever read salinger
omar: no
i don't have time for him
me: "just before the war with the eskimos"
he doesnt have time for u
omar: yes
he's dead
me: no hes not
omar: yes he is
me: n-o
omar: it was in the news
me: anyway what else u up to
his body's decomposed yea
omar: i am in the process of completing some stories
me: cool
omar: and writing some peoms
for a ebook or chapbook or something else
me: cool
omar: called 'idk, idc'
me: will u finally appear in a lit mag
not that it matters
or will u release in collections exclusively
omar: i don't have any interest really in being in a lit mag
apart from pop serial
me: atta boy
omar: LOL
me: i feel u
at last
i feel u
omar: lol

me: i dont even use linked in
why do ppl keep trying to add me
what are they gonna get a job or something
whens the last time u had a gf
omar: i always worry i am missing opportunities on that
by not accepting friend req
me: lets get down to what can only be described as brass tacks
omar: last time i had a gf
me: who was ur last gf
omar: was
in 2008 maybe
me: who was she
howd u meet
omar: very interesting question
me: yes
omar: we met in my flat
at uni
me: what was the occasion
omar: i think she was just hanging out with my flat mates
and i would stay in my room
me: to be mysterious
omar: yes
by mysterious though
i mean
mysterious to me
me: antisocial
omar: well
not really
asocial maybe
me: so ur trying to bedevil yourself with ur own mysterious ways
omar: no
i just dont understand myself
me: o
yes yea
omar: u feel me
me: yea
omar: v fucked up
me: its alright omar
so howd u meet then
she came into ur room
or did u emerge
omar: i emerged at some point
me: yes
omar: to cook bacon
our kitchen and common room were attached
one big room
and then because they were there
me: full of bacon bitches
omar: and i had finished cooking the bacon
i felt peer pressured
into sitting with them
so i did that
me: did u offer her a slice
omar: no
it was in a sandwich
me: o i see
omar: i made eye contact with her at some point
didn't talk to her
maybe said a few things during the conversation to be involved
me: describe the eye contact
omar: like
me: was it furtive or...lingering
omar: i had the sandwich in my mouth
biting down
and like
me: lol
omar: looking around
and our eyes met
then i looked away
because i felt scared
me: =)
omar: later when she was leaving
i think i said i'd walk her back to her flat
me: just off the eye contact
omar: and then i asked her for her email at her door when saying good night
me: nice
her email
sounds nice
is there anything else u'd like to add, omar
omar: no

Friday, July 20, 2012

Cobbled-together Blog Post (End of the Week)

Hello everyone.

The print version of Pop Serial #3 is taking forever to come out. Omar De Col has taken over layout duties.

Omar started a video series recently.
You can see him smoking cigarettes and such.

Things my boss has said at work today:

"im bent bent...wouldnt have it any other way"
  "my wife says im psychotic""the art has to come from a weird place... i prefer being a little odd, eccentric..if you dont have a little diversity in your the fuck are ya gonna play the blues"

Feel like this was a boring-ass week. Nothing much happened online. I want to eradicate boredom on- and offline, I said in a gchat to Omar. I want to produce more things. I want people I like to produce more things. Books. Also essays. Web projects. Ebooks that maybe you would devote more than 5 minutes to or something. I don't know.

Any ideas, people?

If I ever start another thing after Pop Serial, or alongside Pop Serial, I want to call it Death Jam. That's the name I came up with, Death Jam.

Here is a paragraph I wrote today at work:

"The Barclays have Central Air, satellite television (with all the soccer games and Mystery Science Theater 3000 reruns), leather furniture, and a big house with a servant staircase next to the grand wooden carpeted one. Owing to they live across the street from me and I'm always welcome (Mrs. Barclay says this whenever I stay for dinner), I visit all the time. Well and also, Will Barclay is my friend."

I read, and some say I pondered, this essay: "The Future of Memory."

Socrates Adams and Chris Killen will be in Pop Serial #4. They are nice gents and above-average lawn bowlers.

My friend James Tadd Adcox has a book out. He is going on a Midwestern book tour soon I think.

The wonderful Richard Chiem has a book coming out soon from Scrambler Books. It has received what can only be described as blurbs from Dennis Cooper, Blake Butler, and Kate Zambreno. I have read most of it and my blurb would be: "Richard Chiem is an inimitable a Wong Kar-Wai of prose."

Heiko Julien is a swell-ass guy. I met him. He enjoys hugging things. I liked his first ebook/novel, am i cool. He recently sent me his second ebook/novel. It is called I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death. Look for it, on the interwebs..

Brief Reviews of Movies I Recently-ish Saw

Damsels in Distress
Very enjoyable. I laughed a lot.

Moonrise Kingdom
Very good. Probably my favorite Wes movie, or top 2/top 3.

Magic Mike
Entertaining. Male nudity.

To Rome with Love

Looking forward to seeing Ruby Sparks.

Previous movie blogging: Kim Ki-duk blog post

That's it for now.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Blog Post with Erratically Shifting Tone (For Adam Robinson)

Adam Robinson said, in a June interview, that he misses writers regularly blogging at length, because it allowed him to get a sense of their personalities and connect with them one to one. I relate to his perspective despite not being around for the halcyon days of blogging, circa 2008 or so. (The tone's not gonna be consistent OK it's a blog. Alright.)

I relate because I value people, the artists, more than the work they produce. I want to make friends--I know some people only care about the work ("good writing is all that matters dude I am an adjunct professor..") but I want to meet likeminded people. And it became apparent to me early on, when I first checked out HTMLGIANT in late 2009 (?), that there was a social scene going on alongside the writing scene, and I liked that. 

The internet has allowed me to make some of the best friends I've ever had. Like, in all my lifetimes. Many I met through commenting on HTMLGIANT and starting my own magazine, Pop Serial. Gchat has been big too, especially when I've been sad and lonely and...effing adrift in this zany world in which we live, my bbs.... 

Steve Roggenbuck, who has become an influential, popular figure in the 2012 online lit community, and who has greatly inspired the "alt lit" community which some see as antithetical to the '08 style of community, became my friend because I saw his blog via him reviewing I think Tao Lin, the first and biggest writer I've encountered online. I solicited Steve for Pop Serial, coincidentally he was to be moving to Chicago shortly, and we became friends in real life. I've said to many people he's the best friend I've made since childhood, friends I've had since elementary school or earlier.

I think the world of micro-blogging, as Adam puts it, which does seem to be the dominant mode, via Twitter/Facebook/Tumblr, does allow people to connect, to check out and appreciate each other's work, to get some sense of personality, maybe add the other on gchat or participate in Tinychats or Ustreams, but I could understand someone perceiving the new wave of writers on the scene as flashing a badge (via posting macros, post-flarfing on Facebook, via writing a certain kind of poetry, via having a sad persona on Twitter, tweeting about drugs, binge-eating, and various other tropes in many cases associated with Tao Lin/Muumuu House or Steve Roggenbuck) in order to join a club. And maybe that is alienating to people who are used to the idea of individual writers trying to carve out a unique aesthetic and showing their distinct personalities via blogging.

Some of this I think is a misperception. Of course there are only individuals in this new wave/new scene. Still everyone is different. No one is the same, even if they say "seems" a lot, or imitate Steve's misspellings, or say "boost" a lot, whatever else. 

I relate to the desire for striking, distinct individuals within a scene and Daniel Bailey's stated desire for writers to try harder and to work on having their own styles. I don't agree with his overall assessment of the new scene.

I also agree with many of Steve's points in his lovely essay posted yesterday. I don't think a literary scene needs to be a bunch of super-ambitious writers each striving to be as big or great or whatever as possible. I think it is a cynical, narrow-minded perspective to look at "alt lit," specifically the new community of poets inspired by Steve, and see them as remoras attaching to a shark, along for the ride. There will always be leaders in any community or movement. 

Circa 2008, Tao Lin and Blake Butler and others were leaders and many other writers then and now were inspired by them and probably did and continue to emulate them--this has led to lots of writing people value. 

Those two figures are instructive in that, in my opinion, Butler's direct influence has been strongest on other writers with significant ambitions (perhaps due to his style and difficulty, which may appeal more to other writers who aspire to be seen as "great" in their own right), whereas Tao has influenced a lot of writers and former non-writers who perhaps connect personally to Tao's writing, internet presence, and worldview as opposed to being inspired as ambitious writers themselves

This is a simplification to make a point, that different writers have different values and goals and will inspire community of different sorts. Accessibility and broader appeal (beyond other "serious" writers) is the result of style but also of promotion, and Tao and now Steve and nearly everyone in the "alt lit"/Muumuu/Pop Serial community self-promotes to a more significant degree than was once common. 

The exceptions to my characterizations of Butler and Tao are notable: Steve was inspired by Tao and now he is an ambitious writer and leader in his own right, with a unique style. I am big into Joyce and Beckett, the kind of writers people who like Blake tend to like, yet was drawn to Tao. I aspire to be like Tao not necessarily in style but rather in impact, in philosophy, in his spirit, which is very exciting and moving to me. 


There is nothing to worry about. Everything is going very well.


Also of interest, maybe, to anyone who misses 2008 days, or to anyone who is into longer texts, or loves the rare book that isn't boring, that is like an old new friend:

There's lots of sweet-ass writers emerging now! Many who have emerged in the last couple of years. The ones I especially like I have published in Pop Serial.

Richard Chiem exists. He is a sweet dude. His book is coming out. Dennis Cooper has praised his writing, a wonderful endorsement.

Ana Carrete exists. She is awesome. She has a lit mag, New Wave Vomit, she was first to ever publish me. I love her. She has a book coming out. It is depressing and Ana-like and beautiful.

Frank Hinton, that mysterious Frank, who foisted Alt Lit Gossip back on us, has a book coming out. Frank writes about death and shit, I like it.

Ben Brooks exists. He's from the olden days, even though he's young as fuck! He's dedicated and productive and cool and talented. I envy his life and wish to swap with him and I like him a lot.

Crispin Best is awesome guy. He's an OG. Very clever. Everyone loves Crispin.

Marshall Mallicoat exists. I like his poetry a lot. He is very interesting online and in real life. Is he joking? Is he not joking? Is he kind of not also joking? I love it.

Shaun Gannon loves to tell you he exists. He writes big bangers, like the one with his name in it.

DJ Berndt is a wonderful nice guy, he takes writing seriously, he is a friend to everyone.

Cassandra Troyan exists. She has a book coming out, it looks good. She is a force as they say. She is a performer.

Madison Langston exists. I like her writing, I hope she keeps doing it.

Jackson Nieuwland exists. Fuck you if you don't like that he "like"s. Jackson is a force. He is beautiful.

Omar De Col is funny and cute and has been studying the writing he likes. He recently quit Twitter and Facebook to focus on writing. It was terrible for me and I hope he never does it again. Literature is not that important. Omar is wonderful I am biggest fan.

Maggie Lee has a great voice, she is using it on Twitter and in poems. It's cool, I really dig it.

Mira Gonzalez exists. I like her a lot, her personality is great. She's working on poetry, I think she's working on a book!

Spencer Madsen is not always sad you fucks! He is working hard on his writing. He is very funny, he is a nice guy. He has plans and ambitions.

Cassandra Nguyen exists. She's really cool and nice. I like her poems. She is one of the best people at making friends I've ever encountered.

I'm not sure if Elaine Sun wants to be a poet but she could be if she wants to lol!

Andrew James Weatherhead is a wonderful poet. I like his poems a lot. I think he has ambitions.

Michael Inscoe exists, he is beautiful! I hope he writes and makes many more things.

Timothy Willis Sanders is fucking cool as hell and nice and good-looking and gainfully employed and also a good writer (as Adam well knows!) Lol! He's got a novel coming, fuck you!

I'm excited, coffee!!

Fuck you, I write shit, I don't know. "I've only just begun." Check my sidebar. I feel very encouraged 'cause Dennis Cooper liked my one story. I'll do 10 more of those and a novel. Let's go!

Many more names!

Zachary Whalen, he's hilarious and good, he probably hates you and me both, I'm not sure.

Heiko Julien only has 1 e-book so far, but I thought it was real good! He's cool and makes music. Maybe he'll write more (I hope so.)

Guillaume Morissette is a funny writer, I like him. I interviewed him recently about his new book.

David Fishkind. He's talented I think.

Jordan Castro. He's got books coming. He was in the Wall Street Journal and some Spanish newspaper. You mad?

(Confused about the tone of this post, gonna keep going lol...)

Megan Boyle and Zachary German wrote sweet books. I hope there will be more.

Noah Cicero exists. He is a fuckin veteran in the game and continues to inspire and help newer writers.

Sam Pink is alive, from 2008 to now! Sam Pink is sweet as fuck, fuck your granddaddy! I wish I could write something as good as "Training" or Person or something else he wrote. One of my favorite writers.

Tao Lin is alive. My favorite living writer. His inspiration never wanes for me.

Alright that's it for now. Hey Adam Robinson, I can try and blog more man. Here's a start.