My Writing

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

v fucked up: an interview with omar de col

me: Omar, why are u doing videos of you smoking? who do u think u are a role model for children
omar: tbh i don't even believe in smoking
me: 2pac said he;s not a role model bc "a role is something you play and a model is something you make, and i'm not fake."
as u can see, that rhymes
omar: if children speak english they won't understand french, so that can be interesting if u are able to understand portugese
or something
me: this is going well
i feel like u just said something deep and i didnt get it
what the fuck are u on about omar
omar: wel if u look at the history of the thing
then it's true
me: lol
omar: just look at the facts
me: when i examine the record, it becomes clear
omar: no no
me: lol
omar: the record is for playing music
i am talking about historical documents
u feel me
me: yea...i "feel u," omar
omar: lie
good and evil
is 'and'
u feel me?
me: trying to think of an abusive nonsequitur
omar: ok
so if u flip it
then it becomes a completely different things
for example
yesterday i was walking on the road
to talk to the locals
and u know what they always say?
they talk about jobs dissapearing
and frankly
i can understand their point
me: Do you care about like "literary culture" or would you rather just look at cute girls' facebooks/twitters?
this is a dumb and obvious q i just realized
omar: for me
it can be an interesting debate
for example
is there a culture
what is a cute girl
these are questions that are also debatable
so it can take a v long time
for example
do u believe in culture stephen
me: no
Hey Omar
what's your favorite Blink song
omar: ok that is very interesting to some people
maybe not me
me: this is a great performance so far bravo
whats your favorite blink song
omar: blink 182?
me: yea
omar: oh ok
me: was just thinking: this interview will just make all the girls like u more
nothing else will be accomplished
ur so selfish
omar: the one where they talk about the small things
me: shitty choice
omar: well ok
that is your opinion
me: lol
omar: and i will defend to the death your right to have it
me: who cut your hair
didja self-cut
omar: thank you
me: lol
omar: i wanted to talk about this 
me: lol
omar: u mentioned it in the pre-interview
i went to this barber
who is chinese
and she calls me 'handsome boy'
which is something i like
very interesting sidebar
she is very good
at making me feel comfortable
me: ever listen to handsome boy modeling school
are they...are they somehow the same band...
omar: because she doesn't speak english
me: as...we are scientists...
omar: i'm not sure what you're talking about
me: english makes u nervous?
omar: but i'm glad u are listening to different kinds of music

me: what should a girl do if she has u over
or a boy
omar: to answer your first question
english doesn't make me nervous
to answer your second question
i would need you to go into more detail
me: how have u met girls
didja ever meet a girl at camp
on a bus
in a garage
in a field
in a meadow
ata pub
omar: mostly the girls meet me
i think
me: rest stop
is that so
omar: yes
it depends where i am
in that situation
me: wherever u are, there they meet u
omar: no no
now u are twisting my word
when a girl meets me
or i meet a girl, as u put it
it is by chance
for example
i once knew a girl
because she hung around with my flat mate
and i stayed in my room
while they drank in the common area
to seem mysterious
and also
because i was shy
at some point
i went to sit with them
and we made eye contact
then as she was leaving i asked for her email
and spoke to her on msn
me: you DO seem mysterious
omar: messenger
idk about that
as you can see
i have a twitter, tumblr and used to have facebook
and am available on gchat
can u see those
me: what would it take for u to go back on facebook for good
as it were
omar: well
to be honest
since u asked the question
i am going to answer it
me: exciting
omar: i have secretly been activating fb
mostly to view pix of girls
someone said to me yesterday
after i mentioned that i deactivated fb
that i will be back on it within a week
so i feel if i turn it on again
'for good'
i will seem like a lil bitch
and i care what ppl think
it is one of my flaws
what can i say though, i am human
we all have our flaws
u feel me?
me: i wonder sometimes...if u think abt the feelings of others..
i do wonder that...
omar: well
that is an interesting point
v metaphysical
have u read the philosophy?
me: no i havent read it
have u seen "a dangerous method"
omar: no
me: me neither
omar: i would rather stay on topic
me: it looked good tho
omar: hold on
lets finish what u started
me: can one tho remain on topic
omar: u haven't deactivated fb
am i right in saying that?
me: you have said so
omar: ok
so i will assume that is true
since u wont give me a straight answer
do u consider the feelings of ppl who want u to deactivate fb?
me: lol

me: When are u coming to amerika
omar: awp '13
me: cool
u heard it here first
omar: oh
ha ha
me: u can meet elaine
thank god
omar: are we breaking the 4th wall now
me: it's broke
omar: ok
me: can u take some sexie fotos to accompany this interview
seeing as i cant peruse ur fbook pix
cause ur a selfish prick
omar: do you remember when i made my point about u not deactivating fb?
me: just go in photobooth for a while
what else should i deactivate
omar: i don't have photobooth
i'll take a pic i guess
me: thank you
omar: lol
are we still in the interview
me: yes
omar: ok
is there anything else u would like me to talk about?
me: idk like
probably my initial thots are dispensable now
something abt literature
omar: ok
well lately i have been reading lydia davis
i read the first story
me: whaddya think of her
omar: then i fell asleep in the sun
me: perfect
omar: but i liked the first one
me: u ever read salinger
omar: no
i don't have time for him
me: "just before the war with the eskimos"
he doesnt have time for u
omar: yes
he's dead
me: no hes not
omar: yes he is
me: n-o
omar: it was in the news
me: anyway what else u up to
his body's decomposed yea
omar: i am in the process of completing some stories
me: cool
omar: and writing some peoms
for a ebook or chapbook or something else
me: cool
omar: called 'idk, idc'
me: will u finally appear in a lit mag
not that it matters
or will u release in collections exclusively
omar: i don't have any interest really in being in a lit mag
apart from pop serial
me: atta boy
omar: LOL
me: i feel u
at last
i feel u
omar: lol

me: i dont even use linked in
why do ppl keep trying to add me
what are they gonna get a job or something
whens the last time u had a gf
omar: i always worry i am missing opportunities on that
by not accepting friend req
me: lets get down to what can only be described as brass tacks
omar: last time i had a gf
me: who was ur last gf
omar: was
in 2008 maybe
me: who was she
howd u meet
omar: very interesting question
me: yes
omar: we met in my flat
at uni
me: what was the occasion
omar: i think she was just hanging out with my flat mates
and i would stay in my room
me: to be mysterious
omar: yes
by mysterious though
i mean
mysterious to me
me: antisocial
omar: well
not really
asocial maybe
me: so ur trying to bedevil yourself with ur own mysterious ways
omar: no
i just dont understand myself
me: o
yes yea
omar: u feel me
me: yea
omar: v fucked up
me: its alright omar
so howd u meet then
she came into ur room
or did u emerge
omar: i emerged at some point
me: yes
omar: to cook bacon
our kitchen and common room were attached
one big room
and then because they were there
me: full of bacon bitches
omar: and i had finished cooking the bacon
i felt peer pressured
into sitting with them
so i did that
me: did u offer her a slice
omar: no
it was in a sandwich
me: o i see
omar: i made eye contact with her at some point
didn't talk to her
maybe said a few things during the conversation to be involved
me: describe the eye contact
omar: like
me: was it furtive or...lingering
omar: i had the sandwich in my mouth
biting down
and like
me: lol
omar: looking around
and our eyes met
then i looked away
because i felt scared
me: =)
omar: later when she was leaving
i think i said i'd walk her back to her flat
me: just off the eye contact
omar: and then i asked her for her email at her door when saying good night
me: nice
her email
sounds nice
is there anything else u'd like to add, omar
omar: no


  1. thz was like...
    rap game stephen hawkin' interviewing
    rap game omar via 'the wire'
    ...u feel me?

  2. i feel u timothy...u have hit...u have hit the proverbial nail...on the proverbial head...

  3. omar has so much game, i would melt if i made eye contact with someone while they were biting down on a sandwich full of bacon

  4. drank wine & read this & thought "hehe"
    ok stephen

  5. can't believ u posted this...

  6. thanks for reblogging asshat @omar

    hi madison

    hi carolyn

    hi elaine

    hi buttercup

  7. sorry for calling u an asshat, omar. ur not an asshat <3

  8. read this while unsuccessfully signing up for a poetry class

    this felt like a poetry class